Within six months into this chapter of turning 50, I have learned a lot about others and myself. I've been hit on by more 21 year olds than I ever did when I was at the age of 21, and some of the things I've seen in the attempt to get my attention, I've been quite traumatized by it. HA! There are days where it seems like I just can't get it together, and while false insecurities try to trickle their way in, there are the days where I have this ultimate power and fear doesn't have the chance to win. I've never been great at losing. However, I am learning to take those losses as a teacher of how and where I need to improve. I've learned that I could open my heart and Love again, and yet, I've had to come to the realization that sometimes Love just isn't enough, and It honestly hurts. But someone told me once that having that ability to feel any kind of emotion lets you know that you are alive, and in trying to heal through that pain, I've become more inspired to write.
I've also learned to be more careful of attachments to people because sometimes people only come into our lives for whatever is temporarily needed and then when the need is no longer there, they are gone. Even those that have been considered family for most of my adult life. So these days, I'm learning to depend more upon myself, and hold with great gratitude those relationships who stick around for no reason at all.
My soul thrives through creative expression, and I'm trying to find ways to channel that every single day.
Laughter is just as necessary as every single breath, and life can't always be taken so seriously. Time falls short in the most unexpected ways, so every new day is a blessing. I am just grateful to be filled with so much passion for life, that still at the age of 50, I have the motivation to wake, to work and fight for that dream that I had declared to myself at 5 years old. And it is within that dream that I find my purpose to live and do better every single day.